That’s an advertising slogan used by Carlsberg UK not that long ago to promote Tetley Bitter. You might remember it. The idea was that Tetley’s was an uncompromising northern pint; it should not be drunk by southern softies. It should be drunk by folk who own flat caps and own whippets. You get the idea.

By now it is well known that Carlsberg plan to close the Joshua Tetley brewery in Leeds some time before 2011. Presumably Carlsberg are making plans for this, and one thing they must be thinking about is where Tetley’s will be brewed once the brewery is a pile of rubble.

Unsurprisingly, rumours are already circulating that Tetley’s is already brewed elsewhere. We asked Carlsberg about this, and they have categorically denied that any Tetley’s brewed anywhere other than Leeds has been seen in the trade. So that’s alright.

Tetley Mild and Dark Mild are a different matter, of course. Roger Protz, well known beer writer and editor of CAMRA’s Good Beer Guide unearthed the news that these beers are being brewed for Carlsberg by Marston’s. This seems to be true; we’ve seen Tetley Dark Mild in a Marston’s cask in a Leeds pub. So where is this brewed? That’s not an easy question to answer. Marston’s have breweries all over the place; in Wolverhampton, Witney in Oxfordshire, Cockermouth in Cumbria, Burton-on-Trent, and Ringwood in Hampshire. None of these are especially close to Yorkshire. We asked Carlsberg if they could confirm which brewery Marston’s were using, but have not received a reply.

Better news is that a beer definitely coming out of Leeds is Northern Cracker. This is a rich dark beer, coming in at 4.3% ABV, and brewed for the Christmas season. It was launched at a trade show down at the Royal Armouries: “It is a fantastic product and underlines our commitment both to the Tetley’s brand and the cask ale category in the coming years,” said Isaac Sheps, Carlsberg UK chief executive (pictured right). “I am very proud of the brewing team in Leeds who have displayed such passion and expertise brewing such a great tasting product.” Let’s hope the team have a job after 2011, eh, Isaac?

Wetherspoon’s seems to be the best place to seek out Northern Cracker, with JD placing a sizeable order. We managed to sample some at the New Charnwood’s beer festival in Heckmondwicke. It was rather good, tasting something like a stronger version of Tetley Dark Mild. Let’s hope it finds its way into the pubs of Leeds over the next few weeks.

But let’s return to the main issue. When the Joshua Tetley Brewery is gone, where will Tetley Bitter be brewed? Let’s take down the New Full Measure crystal ball and look at the runners and riders.

To start, let’s assume that Carlsberg are serious about having the beer brewed in Yorkshire if possible. We are therefore looking for a brewery that can produce real ale and which has either a fair bit of spare capacity, or room to expand. Most of the micros in these parts are brewing at capacity, so we need to look for something a little bigger. The two likely candidates seem to be Black Sheep or Theakston’s, but space might be an issue at both their sites in Masham. A very outside bet might be Copper Dragon, who are expanding at a great rate, but would they want to?

The ideal solution for many Tet’s drinkers might be to let Leeds Brewery have a go. They’ve already proved that they can brew good beer, and you can almost see the Tetley brewery from their site. But do they have the space to expand?

But perhaps no brewery can be found in Yorkshire. What then? Perhaps we can learn something from the fate of other brews that used to be made at Leeds. The fate of these beers is always hard to track, because brewers tend to be a bit shy about the deals they do.
Many of the beers (Ansell’s, Greenall’s, Draught Burton Ale) formerly brewed at Tetley’s have made the trip over the Pennines to JW Lee’s; others have been reported to be brewed at one time or another by Thwaites. Some of the other bigger breweries over that side of the hills might also be interested – Hyde’s, perhaps? But Tetley’s brewed in Lancashire? That really is unthinkable.

Cast around a bit more for some outside chances. Coors (it’s complicated, but think of them as the outfit that used to be Bass) have farmed out some of their cask ales to Everard’s in Leicestershire, and have apparently also used Brain’s of Cardiff in the past. Brain’s were also believed to be brewing some of the “old” Carlsberg brands before they fetched up at Lee’s. Tetley’s brewed in Wales? That’s almost worse than Lancashire.

CAMRA says that Tetley’s should remain in Leeds. If Carlsberg don’t want to brew it, they should let someone else do it. We’re pretty sure that most Tetley drinkers agree.